The Final Counnntdown

     So,  I'm not the best at this blogging thing. I want to write when I get home from school, but some days my brain is just too darn exhausted. I am thankful that I can share my thoughts here, even if nobody reads them. It frees my mind. 
There are two important countdowns going on in my life right now:
1. Countdown to graduation
2. Countdown until Evan comes HOME from Asheville

     Both are currently under 100 days. Evan comes home sweet home for good April 1st. That is now less than two months. I am so excited, I can barely stand it. Our house doesn't feel like a home without sweet Evy there. He is always so helpful and I never even have to ask. He cooks yummy meals, buys me flowers when I've had a bad day or just because, and he even cleans! What more could a wife ask for?
     Since that countdown is under two months, my graduation from dental school is also getting so close. In that time, I have to take the LAST part of my clinical boards (February 25th). That day may be the most un-nerving day of my life. Here's why: by the time I pay my patients the test will be about $2,000 and they hold my ability to get my license in their hands. Please pray for all of us dental students on this day. We could all use some divine guidance when a fraction of millimeters is the line between passing and failing!!
    After that milestone, everything in school is downhill! I have a few requirements standing between me and the end of 8 years of post high school education. But, even as I am excited to end this phase of school, I am trying to cherish everyday, for tomorrow is never a guarantee!

An Ode to my Pony

     In these coldest days of winter, I fantasize about riding my horse on a hot, sunny day in July. Since Guinness has been at my parents' home in Wake Forest for the past year and a half, I haven't been able to ride regularly like I used to (which was at the least 4 x a week). After I started dental school, I stopped trying to be perfect while aboard my horse. Instead, I used the time as therapy and to relax after my mentally demanding days. Dental school affirmed for me that horses are wonderful becase of who they are naturally.
    Guinness is the same every day. He doesn't hide his emotions. If he is annoyed, he shows it. If he's hungry, you know it. However, those emotions are only in the moment. In the next moment, he could be happy as a clam and he will never have another thought about his feelings only five minutes ago. That is what makes him so glorious. 
     These days, sometimes I just crave going to brush my horse. Touching him just transfers his tranquility to me. When I have the chance to ride him, he just brightens my day. He is so naturally talented and I love how he remembers everything even if I haven't ridden in weeks. The moment I feel him walk underneath me, I feel closer to God and all that he created. Being around him reminds me to live in the moment and to be less critical of myself. 

 Note Billy Bob exercising himself while I exercise Guinness :-)

     Now more than ever, I realize that I don't make the horse. He is awesome because he is who he is. His stature, his awesome trot, his noisy eating of the latest meal...these are all the things that make him wonderful! Perhaps I should take some lessons from him. He doesn't spend time obsessing about his insecurities or worrying about being perfect. He lives in the moment of time we are in and then he moves on.  When I am near him, I am reminded to be a little more still and a little more at peace.  What more of a blessing could a furry (17.2 hand) friend bring!?

The Loss of a Childhood Pet

     I think the one thing that never gets any easier as we grow up is losing a pet. This past weekend, when Evan and I were in Wake Forest for Christmas, it was very apparent that Callie (one of our 15 yo boston terriers) was going downhill quickly. For those of you who read this and don't know about all the animals we have, Callie is one of our ten dogs at home. We also have a group of crazy cats and 4 horses in the backyard. To date, even with all of these animals, I've only lost only four animals (2 cats and now 2 dogs).
     It may seem to some that the loss of one animal out of that many would not be so difficult. However, I can attest that it is always as heart-wrenching. I've watched my mom in these past months clean Callie's crate every morning after she had "accidents," diaper her every few hours to prevent more accidents, and fix her special dinners of eggs in the microwave. My mom did this all out of love since Callie was still enjoying meals and laying by the fireplace. The call came the day after we got back to Asheville, that my mom was going to take her to the vet for the inevitable. Callie could no longer stand.
     As I sat thinking about Callie going to sleep to never be awakened again, I became overwhelmed with sadness (as I do now, writing this). You see I picked Callie out from a litter 15 years ago when I was 10 years old. We even went back later in the day and picked another puppy from the litter (Cassie who is still living and vibrantly at that). The loss of sweet Callie reminds me that my childhood flew by. The years between 10 and 25 seem like minutes. Not having Callie means that part of my childhood is now just a memory.
     When I look at our sweet pup, Meli, I can't imagine the thought of losing her. She, like Callie, is like a part of the family. I can't wait for our children to have sweet memories of her as I have those with Callie. I hope that the doggie heaven is connected to our heaven---as I wish to relive parts of my childhood with my beloved pets!  May Callie Rest In Peace and may she be able to eat, see, and run as much as she wants in heaven.

The Fast-Approaching New Year

     As 2010 is coming to a close, I have found myself thinking about everything that has happened in the past year and what may be in 2011. This year has been a busy one, and Evan and I have seen many blessings. We got to see many of our family and friends with trips to Philadephia and to San Diego. We finished another year of residency and school (Evan's second in Residency and my third in Dental School). We celebrated our marriage and took a great honeymoon. And, we temporarily moved Evan to Asheville for his 5 month rotation.
     While all of these events are exciting, we have even more to look forward to in 2011. The sound of the words "two thousand and eleven" bring music to my ears because I will finally graduate from dental school!! It is bittersweet because while I am anxious to being my professional life, I will miss seeing my dear friends everyday. It is thoughts of the new year that have made me realize I need to set some new goals for myself as one chapter of my life is coming to an end and another is beginning (kind of a big deal because I've never known anything other than school). I thought I would use this as an opportunity to write in words some of my goals for 2011 (I don't like saying "resolutions" because that sounds a little too proper and forceful. The word "goal" makes things sound more doable to me.)

List:
1. organize our home in Chapel Hill...they should probably put me on TLC because of UNC SOD paper hoarding :-)
2. Be a better friend....reach out and plan more social events with all the girls I love
3. Find a big girl J-O-B....we have two sets of student loans and I'm eager to get out there and work!
4. Volunteer somewhere I feel passionate about...I'm hoping some sort of equestrian facility where I can help with theraputic riding
5. Be a better wife...I'm not sure how specific this is, but just make a greater effort to see things from his perspective
6. Make an effort every week to see my family...I need to focus on this because in 2012 we will probably not be in NC any longer :(
7. Most importantly give thanks to God for my many blessings at least once a day


I think that is a pretty lofty set of goals for 2011 and some that can roll over into 2012. I am a work in progress and know that all of these goals take time. As the saying goes "Rome wasn't built in a day."



HAPPY NEW YEAR everyone!

I'm new at blogging

     I've been feeling like if I could write down my daily activities in life, like a journal, I would feel more connected to the world. Facebook is great and all, but it's only a snapshot of who I am. I thought that Christmas break would be a good time to start a blog because I  have more free time.
     So, here's what's up today. I'm happily married to Evan, aka Pokey. And while we are new at this marriage thing and separated by miles for the next several months, I'm exceptionally blessed to have him. He is currently in Asheville as part of his residency and so I enjoy visiting him every chance we can get.  So far, during our stay in Asheville, we've obtained a season pass to the beautiful Biltmore, explored nature, gotten to know some good eats, and learned quickly that we need to live on a smaller budget due to our growing gas bill.

    We are exceptionally excited for our first Christmas together, and Evan has officially decorated the "tree." Before I got here yesterday, he bought some LED lights from Walmart and adorned the palm in our apartment. We also decided that it won't feel like Christmas unless we bake some holiday cookies, so that's on the agenda tonight. Hopefully they will turn out something like this...

    I just learned tonight that Evan always made these with his mom at this time of year. Hopefully, ours will turn out as good as mom Chalk's cookies. We are so thankful at this time of year and at this stage in our lives (poor and in school) to have two sets of loving families. We will travel to Wake Forest to see my family at Christmas Eve so that we can feel like we're kids again. We'll all get pjs on Christmas Eve (which we will all wear), probably read Jesus' birth from the Bible (at my urging), climb into bed and wait for Santa to arrive. It will be even more special since Evan is now officially part of the family. Then, on Christmas morning, we will eat chocolate croissants from the Chalks so we can feel like they are there too.  I'm dreaming of these croissants (and apparently my sister is too because my mom has already had to remind her that she can't have any until we get there). Here they are...I'm drooling...

Well, now that I've looked at that, it's time to cook some yummy dinner. It's one of my favorite times of day when Evan cooks with me. I'll have to write about our cooking adventures later....